Some of this is actually my fault. For reasons I have never been able to explain, I tend to stay up later at night when I’m depressed. I was kind of down in the dumps for a few days last week, and the next thing I knew I was still awake at 10:30 or 11 o’clock at night, which wouldn’t be bad if I didn’t wake up at 4 in the morning to go to work Monday-Friday. By Friday night (when my mood had actually improved significantly), I was starting to feel the effects of not sleeping enough earlier in the week.
So, like any male who thinks he can fix any problem by simply swinging completely and ridiculously in the opposite direction of his current behavior, I decided I was going to turn in early Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. I knew the time change of “falling back” an hour would be thrown in there, but it usually doesn’t bother me because I like getting the extra hour of sleep. By Monday, my mind reasoned, I should be right back on track.
Except that didn’t really happen.
I went to bed at 8:10 p.m. last night, thinking I’d hit the ground running to begin the work week. The weird thing was, I woke up feeling more tired this morning than I did any of those days I stayed up too late last week. And, to be perfectly honest, I’d rather be sleeping right now than typing this. All of a sudden, I went from not wanting to sleep to not feeling like I can sleep enough.
So now I’m a little off.
I tried reading up today on circadian rhythms, and I’ve seen plenty of articles discussing the importance of sleep for those who suffer from depression. Is it really that important, though? The argument almost devolves into the “chicken or the egg”: Do I not sleep because I’m depressed, or am I depressed because I don’t sleep? Or does it really matter either way? Depression or no depression, there is a definite rhythm to our bodies that can be thrown out of alignment. And when the body is out of alignment, well, the mind…
That’s why I’m wrapping this post up without any kind of particular lesson or insight or anything like that. I’m tired, I’m off, and I need to get back on. Goodnight, all. May your minds and bodies be in perfect sync in the morning.