Have you ever had one of those days when your depression was so whacked-out crazy that you weren’t even sure who you were by the end of it? One minute you’re morose, the next minute you’re cutting up, one minute you love everyone, the next minute you’re afraid they’re going to bail on you at the first sign of trouble. Not only are you driving everyone around you nuts, you’re actually driving yourself nuts in the process. And the worst part is, there doesn’t seem to be a damn thing you can do about it.
Thankfully, not every day is like this for me, but I have had enough of them over the years to realize there are just times when I need to settle down. The unfortunate part is I never seem to realize when those times are until they’ve already passed and I’ve left nearly everyone around me with the impression that I’m stark-raving mad. There never seems to be a middle ground in these times; I’m either going 150 miles per hour or I haven’t even made it out of the garage.
I’ve never been a huge Billy Joel fan, but his Storm Front album actually had quite a few songs I liked on it. “I Go To Extremes,” in particular, is one of my favorites, mainly because it seemed as if he wrote the song precisely about me. “Too high or too low, there ain’t no in-betweens…” That is me, exactly, and as the main line of the chorus begins “Darling, I don’t know why…”, I don’t know why either.
I always viewed the song as someone asking for a little understanding concerning their actions, and that’s still how I interpret it today. “Look, I do crazy stuff sometimes, and I have no idea why I do it.” It’s the same thing I find myself saying after one of those crazy days I was describing earlier. You just want whoever you’re talking with to just hang with you because you know you’re not always like this. You know you don’t bounce around like a rubber ball all the time. You know you can do better, if they’ll just give you another chance.
So sometimes I go to extremes. Too high or too low. Just stay with me. I’m not like this all the time.